Zehra's Pov

You know it's not easy to live this life. It's really nothing lesser than a path of fire where you have to walk no matter how broken you are. You have to show up, pull your best smile and act like you are not dying from inside.

The tremble of your fingers, hide it well behind your fist. The racing heart of yours…just ignore it even if it shouts into your ears.

Life is never easy, especially for someone who lives for others.

I wished there was someone in my life who would have taught me how to be selfish, how to not seek love from others but be satisfied with yourself.

If I really have a kid of my own I will teach them to be selfish.

To do what their heart says, even if it portrays them as a villain in people's eyes but don't be like your mother.

I have dived so deep into this web of lies that now it feels almost unbreathable.

The face of my father flashed right in front of my eyes, the faces of my family,... How would I tell them that I am weak? I do not want what they want me to see. I am not strong, I am not selfish.

Thinking so much about others that I have forgotten this life is mine.

And if one more time I take another decision of thinking about others… I might not survive this life.

Perhaps I will breathe, I will smile a fake smile, continue showing my manufactured confidence but I can never live.

And the thought of spending another day just breathing exhaust me to the core.

I want to free myself, from betrayal, from hatred, from disappointment, from the lies binding me with every relationship of my life.

I want to free myself.

Maybe on the other side, I will be more decisive, more selfish and less sacrificing.

I closed my eyes, even the light of the bathroom was pricking my skin.

The razor in my palm, sharp, its edges cutting through my skin but this pain was absolutely nothing compared to the pain that life has bothered me with.

And no, nothing was my mistake.

It was always them, tormenting me, looking over me as if they couldn't see how fake the happiness of my eyes were. Perhaps the only thing I did wrong was taking responsibilities on my shoulders which bore me with so much weight that now it feels impossible to walk on my feet.

I was sitting on the bathroom floor, naked ... only a towel wrapped around my figure but even that felt heavy to me.

I missed my mother, wondering if she was like them or if she would have loved me unconditionally, the way mothers are meant to.

I wondered if she would stop me from bearing a man’s child, one who sees me as nothing or if she would be content finding me at my lowest, breath ragged, face streaked with tears.

And a razor in my hand.

I would have disappointed her too…and she would have hated me like him.

A heavy breath left my lips as I opened my eyes.

I rubbed the skin on my thigh. It was ashen with few hair. It looked innocent to me, like I don't deserve getting even a minor cut but what can I do.

I am a stupid, a stupid woman who is indecisive. A 26 year old woman who can't even make a simple decision on her own.

A woman who was thinking of ways to sacrifice herself once again for her family, for her father…

But what about me ?

A part of me asked and I have nothing but hatred to give myself. Hate to be this weak, hate to oscillate between right and wrong when I should just choose right.

As I kept thinking about it, my hatred only grew.

It grew, grew, grew so much that at the end I plunged the razor in my skin.

A line formed on my skin….which oozed out blood.

I smiled…because finally it felt like something was moving otherwise it is all stagnant, and in this stagnancy I smell pungent.

Like rotten flesh.

But as the blood seeped out, tinting my white towel, I felt alive as if I still can move, can still go ahead with this fucked up life.

Surely there will be no peace, no satisfaction, only an inner emptiness but I can move. Talk, smile fake, be a slave, a working slave, and once again escape from making a decision of my heart.

With that assurance I again pressed a cut, more blood on my thigh, in my hand. The white marble of my rich husband's magnificent bathroom blushed red but it was soothing.

It takes off my mind from the things of my life. From my damn life.

In search of this peace, I raised my hand to cut the insides of my thighs when…

●●●

“Zehra! Zehra!” Aks knocked on the door, his voice edged with agitation, almost worried.

“It has been almost an hour. What are you doing there?” he shouted, the concern now clear in his tone.

He must be worried about what he would say to his family if something went wrong with her.

“I am fine. I am coming,” Zehra called back, quickly getting to her feet, not wanting him to suspect what had been happening inside.

Her hands trembled as she cleaned the mess she had created. She wiped herself, her breath uneven, and threw the towel tinged with blood into the bin. The blood on her thighs refused to stop, stubborn and warm against her skin, but she pressed it hard with a black cloth she usually kept in her cupboard for moments like this. She hissed in pain when the pressure only deepened the cut, but somehow she managed to slow it down. Wrapping another towel around herself, she stepped out of the bathroom.

However, what she had not anticipated was Aks still standing outside, waiting for her.

His presence caught her off guard and she stumbled back a step, almost losing her hold on the loosely wrapped towel.

She did not like him seeing her like this. His gaze felt like insects crawling over her skin.

“What took you so long?” he asked. He was dressed in a proper suit, asserting his dominance, looking dark and strikingly handsome, his long hair tied back neatly in a ponytail.

She grabbed the towel much tighter against her chest, not knowing what to say.

She could feel his eyes on her, steady and piercing, as he waited for her to respond, his hands tucked casually into his pockets.

“I lost track of time,” she finally answered and raised my eyelashes to look at him.

He was looking at her as if he could read her and she hated that. He was no one to look at her like that. He has no right over her.

In her awkwardness, she rubbed the back of her ear. Scared, what if he knows what she was doing inside the bathroom.

She looked down involuntarily and breathed out softly when she found no blood sticking on her towel.

Zehra turned her eyes to him again, only to find him still staring at her.

She felt something closer to disgust, even fear.

The crawling sensation on her skin only worsened by the time.

What was he trying to prove by looking at her like that?

She tightened her arms around herself. She was covered, almost entirely, even with the towel then what exactly was he trying to see?

“Get ready fast, everyone is waiting for us downstairs,” he said suddenly.

Zehra nodded, relief flickering briefly across her face.

Ignoring him, she stepped aside to get ready but before she could move further, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms.

She gasped out of shock and looked at him in question.

The distance between them was barely there.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice unsteady.

Instead of answering, he raised his hand and ran his fingers through her damp hair. It had grown slightly longer now, brushing against the base of her neck. His fingers lingered at the ends and he moved closer, his presence….a discomfort for her.

Zehra felt like fainting as the scent invaded her senses.

It was a scent that used to rule her mind but not anymore.

Now it reminded her of a man who could use a child for his own gain without a trace of shame.

He leaned closer, his face nearing hers, about to press a kiss against her forehead, but Zehra instantly stepped away..

She was no more nervous, or in the haze of the past or this particular moment.

She repeated again. This time more harshly,” what the hell are you doing!?”

A smirk appeared on his lips as he looked at her.

“Loving my wife. What else?” he replied.

His words hit her like a slap and she staggered back on her steps.

She has thought that she can't get any more disgusted but what she was feeling right now was more than just disgust..

His words sounded like the ugliest sound to her ears.

“Chee, what are you even saying!?” She spat in anger and in response Aks laughed.

Like genuinely laughed and Zehra stared at him with anger mixed with confusion.

“Why are you so shocked, Zehra? You have not denied your pregnancy to anyone. Hamein bacche karne hai toh mujhe tumhare aur tumhe mere kareeb toh aana padega,” he said

Zehra stared at him stunned.

It was not like she did not know what he meant but till now, all this was looking like a thing which she could ignore but if this kept going like this…….. will she really have to…

●●●

When they came downstairs the atmosphere of the house was different.

As if everyone in the house was going through something underlain, something heavy yet unspoken that clung to the walls and settled in the quiet corners.

However, as soon as they saw Zehra, everyone's face lightened up. Their smiles reached their eyes, softening the tension in the room. It was Nevan who got up first to hug Zehra.

“Good morning, soon to be momma,” he said. He looked fresh and happy, a rare kind of lightness surrounding him.

It had been more than a month and he was clean...not using drugs.

The restraint on his own self was strong this time almost admirable in the way he carried it.

“Morning,” Zehra smiled back however her eyes did not crease like they do when she smiles a real smile.

There was a faint dullness behind them, something carefully hidden.

“Here,” Reyna pulled her to her chair at the dining table and placed a healthy breakfast in front of her.

“Egg and spinach omelet with toast. It is healthy for you and the baby.” She smiled warmly.

“Reyna bhabhi, how sweet are you. Thank you for taking such nice care of Zehra,” Aks smiled, giving Reyna a side hug.

Reyna hugged him back before saying, “What are you even saying Aks, you and Zehra are going to be parents and it is my duty to take care of you. You do not have to thank me for that.”

Aks nodded with a grateful look in his eyes and sat beside Zehra at the dining table.

He was about to take the first bite of his breakfast when he felt someone's eyes on him.

Looking up from his plate, he found Clover staring at him, her gaze lingering for a second too long. But as soon as their eyes met she looked away nervously, lowering her head and pretending to focus on her plate.

His brows furrowed and he turned his eyes to Zehra who looked normal to him. He again turned his eyes to Clover.

This time she was quietly eating her breakfast, her fingers slightly trembling as she held the fork.

“Did you tell Clover about us?” leaning to Zehra's ear, he whispered.

Zehra's fork stopped mid air and she slowly turned her gaze to Aks. “Why would I? She is a young girl. I do not want to bother her with my matter. But why are you asking that?”

He looked at her for a long second, studying her face as if searching for something and then said, “Nothing.”

“Is there anything that you want to talk about, Aks?” suddenly a chilled voice echoed through the dining area.

Everyone turned to Nirvana and then looked at Aks to whom the question was subjected.

“No, brother. Why are you asking that?”

Nirvana's sharp eyes studied the couple.

They seemed less in love and more in planning. The small whispers, the lack of eye contact and the way Zehra’s face almost looked frozen did not settle well with him.

She never looked this dull to him.

Zehra’s face almost looked frozen which did not settle well with him.

“I see no glow on her face. In fact, she has been looking dull to me since the time you two have announced your pregnancy a few days back,” he made a statement. It was not a question, not even a doubt... it was just a silent observation.

Clover stopped playing with the food on her plate. She wanted to speak.

Voice out how she felt the same.

There used to be a shine on Zehra's cheeks.

Every night when she used to cuddle with her, she would feel the warmth, the comfort of a hard earned solitude. But from that day something seemed off in Zehra.

Izan noticed the slight change in Clover's posture, the way she went alert, the way her eyes travelled across the table and stopped at Nirvana and the way her mouth parted but no words escaped.

Not even a sound, thanks to him.

His fingers tightened around the spoon and the guilt swallowed him. The flashes of that moment when she lost control of herself because of him came rushing back and like a coward he could do nothing for her.

“You cannot question a pregnant woman like that. She will glow at the right time. Maybe she is nervous about her pregnancy that's why she has been looking a bit different for the last few days,” Reyna chimed in.

She looked the most put together at the dining table after Nirvana.. her composure steady despite the tension.

Nirvana slowly turned his eyes to Reyna and said, without wanting to sound rude but still sounding sharp enough to cut through the air,

“And how do you know all this? You have not even been pregnant or taken care of a pregnant woman like I have.”

He said it and a sudden silence, heavier than before enveloped the room.

Each and every eye turned to Reyna who sat frozen in her place.

For a moment she could not believe that he had said something like that but then when she felt all the eyes on her, the embarrassment washed over her completely followed closely by hurt.

“Umm, I guess Ahren has woken up,” she muttered not meeting anyone's eyes and dropping her spoon on the plate. She got up hurriedly and ran upstairs.

Zehra bit her lip... her hands crushing together under the table. Somehow she found herself responsible for all this.

Aks looked down in shame... his lie had spiraled into this moment.

Clover looked clueless, her eyes moving from one person to another while Izan looked worriedly at the way Reyna had run.

And Nevan… he looked like the world could come up together but still not quench the anger burning inside him.

“You asshole,” he gritted out, glaring at Nirvana.

“Nevan!” his two elder brothers shouted at him, but Nevan could not stop.

He wiped his mouth with a handkerchief harshly before throwing it on the plate. “You hurt her again!” he pointed an accusing finger at his eldest brother from across the table.

“You asshole, can't you see she is the best thing that has happened to you and this family?” he shouted, now standing up and throwing daggers at him through his eyes.

“I did not mean to slander her. I just could not articulate my point clearly,” Nirvana, for the first time felt at fault in front of his youngest brother.

He looked down out of guilt but even he knew it was a weak excuse.

The man whose words could break and form someone's life could not be this careless with his words, that too with his wife.

“Go to hell, big brother!! First you questioned Zehra bhabhi and then you insulted Reyna bhabhi. You are definitely growing a partiality bone by supporting Clover in everything and ignoring Zehra and Reyna,” he shouted, bringing Clover into the middle of this.

“What the hell are you saying, boy?” Nirvana asked, looking perplexed by Nevan's statement and the others looked confused too.

“I am saying nothing wrong. Now that you have found a new sister who takes your side no matter what, does not speak a word and follows whatever you say like your minion, you coddle her like a princess sister while you question Zehra bhabhi and always hurt Reyna bhabhi,” he snarled.

“Do not bring my Clover into all these things. She has nothing to do with it,” Izan flared up, his voice protective and sharp.

“Yeah, she has nothing to do that is why she is going to university today with me. Like a problem. The fuck, she does not even talk. What am I going to tell people when they say what a weirdo my new sister is?”

“That is enough!” Nirvana shouted, standing up from his place and hitting the table hard enough to make the utensils clatter.

Clover flinched, Zehra froze, Izan was about to jump at Nevan to beat him but stopped at Nirvana's words.

“You are crossing your limits, Nevan.”

“Like you did with Reyna bhabhi, right?” Nevan taunted.

Nirvana closed his eyes, he was losing patience with his youngest brother.

“Not a word, boy, not a word,” he clenched out each and every word. “We all know you love Zehra and Reyna to death but that does not mean you will form some kind of rivalry with Clover because she trusts me as a brother more than you.”

“Yeah, she trusts you more when it was me who erased every single trace of her messed up social media image of a waitress getting bullied like some cheap entertainment from the internet,” Nevan lost his hold, the words spilling out before he could pull them back.

His voice was sharp but beneath it there was something raw, something desperate as if he was holding onto this for too long.

And in that moment he said something that could hurt Clover gravely, in the same way Nirvana did to Reyna.

“What?” Izan whispered, his voice barely audible.

His eyes snapped toward Clover then back to Nevan...disbelief flickering across his face.

Around the table, everyone went still.

“You did what?” Nirvana asked, his tone low, controlled but far more dangerous than shouting.

His gaze locked onto Nevan, sharp and unblinking....

Nevan felt as if someone had punched him straight in the gut.

The anger that was fueling him just seconds ago drained out, leaving behind a hollow feeling.

His jaw tightened and for the first time since he had spoken, he realized what he had done.

“Umm, nothing,” he said, the words coming out weak, almost childlike in their denial. Shame crawled up his spine, settling heavily on his shoulders.

Through the corner of his eyes, he looked at Clover.

And his heart broke.

Tears had already started sliding down her cheeks one after another.

She did not look at anyone. Not at Nirvana, not at Izan.

She did not want anyone to know about her past. Not like this. Not thrown at her in the middle of an argument, not exposed like a wound she had never allowed to heal properly.

“I am getting late for university,” Nevan stammered with his voice uneven, almost choking on the words. He could not stay there, not under the weight of what he had just done, not while those tears kept falling.

He grabbed his car's key in hurry and stormed out of the estate.

●●●

Nirvana entered the room and found Reyna nowhere in sight.

“Reyna,” he called but no response came from her.

“Reyna,” he called again but still no response.

He was about to turn and look for her on the balcony when a whimper caught his attention.

His eyes turned to the bed where Ahren lay, deep asleep. He was turned to his side, a rare thing for him to do because he generally slept on his back.

Nirvana was about to ignore him and turn to look for Reyna but again a little whimper echoed in the room.

His gaze again moved to Ahren and sure enough the little baby was whimpering.

“Reyna, your son is crying in his sleep,” he said, his voice not too loud so as not to disturb Ahren and scare him more. It was moderate but it did not quite reach Reyna.

“Reyn-” he was about to call her again when Ahren turned onto his back, his lips wobbling in his sleep as if he was about to cry loudly, his little eyebrows tilting in fear.

His fingers closed into a fist, opening halfway and then closing again.

He was scared.

“Where is your mother when you need her the most,” Nirvana muttered and even though he did not want to, he stepped forward toward the bed and sat near him.

The little boy was surely having a nightmare early in the morning.

Ahren wanted to cry but he felt like he could not voice out a single thing.

Mumma was not near Ahren and Papa will never come.

He sat in the middle of so many fairies but they were all creeping him out as if they wanted to eat him like he eats melted chocolate. His new favourite after Mumma's milk.

“I am going to eat you. You are so cute,” one fairy in pink said, but Ahren did not understand anything. He just wanted his mumma.

“Mumma. Mumma. Mumma.”

Ahren raised his two hands, making grabby hands for his mumma.

But where is mumma ?

Ahren grew more scared.

This world or any other world feels so scary without mumma.

Ahren felt his big round eyes brimming with tears, lips trembling more and finally the tears cascade down his cheeks.

“Mumma!!” He called from his heart but he could not spell it through his mouth properly.

While in reality Nirvana felt like standing in rock, Ahren was sleeping but the tears kept coming out of his closed eyes. His nose scrunched as if he was stuck in a place he did not want to.

A part of him kept pursuing him to touch the baby and whisper sweet nothings in his ears, assure him that he was not alone, not in dream or in real life. Definitely not in real life.

However his hands did not move, they froze on his knees as if they were made of ice which could not melt even under the flame.

Ahren in his dream called again, his lips moving in anyways possible, his heart calling for only one person…Mumma.

The pink lady was about to grab him when Ahren called out....”Baba.”

He called that in his dream but here Nirvana felt the pull inside him, something broke within him that mended just instantly and ignoring everything which his mind was saying he placed a hand on Ahren's chest.

“Ahren. I am here. With you. Don't cry. I am always with you.” He said, his hands slowly caressing Ahren's chest, and with another hand he wiped Ahren's big tears.

“Shhh…beta. I am here. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. You are safe with me,” Nirvana did not understand from where the words came but he uttered them, gazing at how Ahren's lips stopped trembling, his fist loosened up, the frown between his brows straightened.

There were no bad fairies in his dream, Mumma was laughing now, as Ahren smiled widely in his Papa's arms.

He felt safe in his father's big arms. They were so strong, Ahren placed his head on his Papa's shoulder and looked lovingly at his beautiful mother.

Everything was good now.

In a second a nightmare turned into a beautiful dream.

And when his eyes parted, he saw his father's face. Little Ahren thought he was still in the dream, and his Papa will always keep him safe.

Unconsciously a beautiful smile curled on his baby lips, and once again Nirvana's world stopped.

He stared at the smiling baby who after giving him a priceless smile again turned on his side and went back to another deep sleep.

And that particular moment was something which will stay with Nirvana, even though he will not tell this to anyone.

He adjusted the pillows around Ahren before standing up with a quiet sigh.

Fixing the sleeves of his blazer, he looked at the child with practiced indifference as if this wasn’t the same little boy who just touched his heart with a single smile like no one ever had.

A faint sound came from the balcony.

“Reyna,” he whispered, suddenly remembering why he was there in the first place

●●●

Reyna was ready to fight, to blow out at Nirvana and if it was in her hands then cutting his head off was very much possible.

However at this time she felt like curbing her anger, forcing it down even when it rested at her chest.

Because as much as she was angry, she was hurt too.

What exactly did he mean by those words?

Who gave him the right to talk to her like that?

Not only did he say something so hurtful to her but that too in front of everyone.

Along with anger and hurt she was feeling embarrassed and the amalgam of all those emotions made it hard for her to just be calm.

So she grabbed the hand trowel and started turning the soil in the flower pot which was kept on the balcony, digging it harder than needed as if the poor soil was the one to blame.

The scent of damp earth rose in the air, grounding yet doing nothing seemed to soothe her anger.

“What do you think of yourself? That you are some hero of a freaking Wattpad story that you will say anything and people will still forgive you in later chapters just because you suddenly become the best man out there by getting a bullet on behalf of the heroine or meeting with an accident while you were going to meet the heroine? You are nothing but a shameless pervert, who tries to act like a freaking king but has no idea what to say to his wife. His beautiful, smart wife who is ten times hotter than him but instead of being grateful about it you bring the worst part of her life in front of everyone. Worst. Worst male lead ever and even worse husband. I just want to kill yo-”

“ahem,” Nirvana cleared his throat, gaining Reyna's attention.

Reyna closed her eyes in irritation, her body turned rigid in anger and then keeping the trowel in the pot she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

A faint streak of mud followed the motion. She stood up before turning to him with a blank expression on her face.

“What?” she said in a flat tone.

She did not want to show him how hurt she was from his words, although she knew he must have heard her ranting like a mad woman.

Nirvana looked at her blank face. She was trying to look intimidating but with the soil on her forehead and cheeks and with her hands crossed over her chest she looked annoyingly cute to him.

The contradiction almost amused him.

He laughed internally and this time a faint curve touched his lips too. He did not say a word.

He simply thrust out a napkin from his pant's pocket and proceeded to wipe the soil from her forehead.

Reyna was caught off guard by his sudden action.

“What are you doing?” she asked, moving her face away from his approaching hand.

His hand stopped mid air and he gave her a look which clearly said, 'Shut the fuck up and let me do it.'

Reyna pursed her lips at him with irritation flashing in her eyes.

She was about to turn around to work on the flower pot when he cupped her chin with his other hand and moved her face to him.

“What I said downstairs at the dining table was not meant to hurt you,” he said as he wiped the soil from her forehead softly, his touch careful... almost soft.

Reyna scoffed in response.

But Nirvana did not stop there.

It was rare of times when he wanted to explain himself to Reyna and the weight of that intent was present in his voice.

“My words were not correctly articulated. I just wanted to say that I have seen my mother carrying my brothers. I know how a woman goes through changes in the span of these nine months. You, on the other hand might not have much experience in that. Again, I am not saying it to insult you. You might think you know better than me on this topic, Reyna but I know better.”

When he ended his words, her face was cleared of the soil but she still looked at him with pain in her eyes the kind she could not hide no matter how hard she tried.

When he said those words, she also got reminded of how he must have seen and taken care of her sister, Naina when she was carrying Ahren in her womb.

Although he was mentioning his mother right now but  she knew he was there... with all his heart for Naina too.

And if naina was not as bad as she was then maybe she would have continued carrying Ahren and today Nirvana would have been happy with her and would have genuinely love Ahren.

The thought twisted something deep inside her.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, keeping the muddy napkin in his pocket.

His brown eyes were deep, tracing through her beautiful face and searching for something she refused to give.

Reyna gulped and grabbed the end of her saree's pallu tightly, her fingers curling into the soft fabric.

The mud stained the precious Sambalpuri saree edges but she did not care.

“Nothing,” she uttered, not meeting his eyes.

The anger still sat on her nose, a bit tempered but not completely smothered like embers waiting to flare again.

“It is not nothing,” the man commented as if he could read her like one of those business files rotting on his desk.

The truth bit her ego like a snake, sharp and sudden and she let out through her gritted teeth “No problem. I am not angry or hurt.”

She met his eyes this time and they were equally deep and dark, mirroring his intensity.

●●●

Everyone had left the dining room but Clover was still seated on her chair, her body slightly slouched and like her shadow Izan was beside her not leaving her even for a second.

Clover was numb.

She stared ahead at the white wall, her gaze fixed yet unfocused.....

From inside she was shaken, she could feel every cell of her body trembling with fear, anxiety and nervousness but from the outside she was just numb, like a still painting untouched by emotion.

She never thought that a fragment of her past would be displayed to everyone like this, spread bare without her consent.

In the past she had worked all sorts of jobs for survival, each one harder than the last but being a waitress in a strip club was the most difficult of all.

The dim lights, the heavy smell of alcohol, the loud music that never seemed to stop all this suffocated her.

She was always a semi mute and that made it easy for the drunk youngsters to bully her in all possible ways. Her silence became their entertainment.

They would bully her, record it and then post everything on social media, laughing as if her humiliation was nothing more than a joke.

She never thought Nevan must have seen all of her videos and now he would expose that part of her past to everyone like this, tearing open wounds she had barely managed to close.

“Clover,” Izan placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her out of the reverie of her thoughts.

Clover flinched at the sudden touch and looked at him, her eyes slightly widened.

It pained Izan to see her like this.

From the day at the hospital when her nervous system collapsed because of him she had not let out a single sound, not even a whimper.

The silence around her was heavier than any scream.....

No one in the family knew about this condition where even if she wanted to she could not speak.

They just assumed that she was quiet like she already was, unaware of the storm trapped inside her.

“Don't you want to get ready for your first day at University?” He smiled softly, making Clover look at him with a faint frown.

He had just gotten to know something malicious about her past, something that could tarnish his image.

Would he not enquire about it or torment her about it like he always did?

She wondered for a moment but nonetheless she nodded and stood up from her place.

It was her first day at University.

She was supposed to go with Nevan and Zehra, but Nevan had already sprinted off after exposing her past to everyone and Aks went out with Zehra even though she had tried to stay back for Clover.

As they ascended to their floor, the quiet hallway stretched endlessly before them and Clover again turned her eyes to Izan.

Sensing her gaze on him Izan smiled faintly and said, “I know what you are thinking. I wanted you to fail the test and never join the University, then why suddenly I am supportive now.”

He looked at Clover as he finished his sentence and Clover tilted her head to the side and blinked softly as if whispering a yes.

Izan turned his gaze away, his jaw tightening slightly.

How innocent she looked when she gave him that expression.

He loved it and felt fortunate to have her but still ended up hurting her every time, so much so that last time she ended up on the hospital bed.

The memory which will haunt him for the rest of this life.

“I do not want to see that again, Clover,” he said as he opened the bedroom door. The faint fragrance of the Clover leaves welcomed them.

He had placed a clover pot near the window as an apology to her a day before yesterday, its delicate leaves catching the soft sunlight.

Clover's eyes instantly went to the white flowers, the four leaves already turning yellow at the edges. They were not destined to survive much indoors but Izan was ignorant to that as well.

“I know it will be hard for me to see you go there alone, spending half of your day among those teenagers and youngsters. I hate the fact that they will get to see you, be in your presence,” then he turned his eyes to her as he said, “get to know you more than me.”

“But I cannot stop you either. Especially after what happened that day,” he said, recalling how painful that time in the hospital was for both of them.

“That is why I am allowing you to go to university and earn your degree,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders.

He wanted to comfort her but Clover felt the heaviness of his silent dominance pressing down on her shoulders, making her chest tighten.

“Honestly in my heart I know that you will not survive in that hell hole called University but my family is right Clover, you deserve a chance. But angel if anything bothers you, you tell me okay?” He arched a brow and Clover nodded.

“That is like my sweet girl. Now get ready. I will drop you to your class. You try the regular classes for some days, after that I will admit you to online classes. I know my Clovy will not be able to go through all of that.”

He smiled and went out of the room, leaving behind a quietness that felt heavier than before.

Clover stood there in the middle of the room alone....her fingers curling slightly at her sides.

Her eyes drifted back to the clover plant and she could not help but notice the contrast between them and her.

The leaves bloomed in the bright daylight while they closed up in the night.

While here she was.....closing down completely, it did not matter if it was night or day.

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